The career dilemma strikes again

I've just had my appraisal at work. It went pretty well, which since filling in the form beforehand I was having to try hard not to say I was bored and spent over half my time at work writing blogs or wasting time on Facebook! Actually, it was quite a positive thing, and far less embarrassing than I'd worried, and it looks like there might be some positive outcomes, from actually getting a contract at last to being able to get experience in some useful skills that I can put on application forms. Perhaps the people who won't accept developing procedures to put on G&S shows or make cafes at church run smoothly as valid job experience will accept developing an inter-office client referral procedure?

One thing that did worry me a bit was when the person appraising me started asking about whether I'd decided what to do with my life, and when I said I wasn't sure started warning me about falling into the trap of being pigeon-holed as a receptionist, and not seen as capable of doing anything else by employers (since I couldn't even get a full time reception job I applied for I don't think I'm even in a good enough position to worry about that!) or, basically, of just wasting my skills not deciding to do anything. Although, he said, I'm still young enough to escape that.

The trouble is, it's not so much that I'm putting off deciding what to do with my life, it's more that I have a pretty good idea, but the plan hasn't started working yet. Perhaps, in the long term, that's not a bad thing. When I graduated nearly three years ago (eek, THAT long!) I just wanted a job- practically any job, preferably not deadly dull- that would keep me for a couple of years while I grew up a bit and tested some of the ideas I had. The getting a job- even any job- bit proved tricky, and in the current economic climate only gets trickier. Growing up hasn't happened yet (well, in some ways it has but in others I don't think it ever will!) and although I've tested ideas and have more of an idea what I'd like to do, carrying that into action proved impossible. Because, I was told, I needed to do more or less what I've just said- get a job and get older. You can see the problem.

So here I am. In some ways, things aren't too bad- I'd like the extra money from a full time job, enough to mean I wasn't continually worrying from month to month about being able to pay the bills. But I like the freedom of part time work. I'd like something more interesting too, but I have a job and think myself fortunate in that. But it doesn't seem to be good enough that I'm nearly twenty-four and have a couple of years' varied work experience. The benefits of being young don't seem to count for anything either, not does the fact that although young in age, I'm used to dealing with older people and have (not wishing to boast) a rather more mature way of thinking than many twenty-somethings. Sadly the person who thinks I'm too young probably doesn't know me well enough to realise this!

Perhaps I'm worrying about this too much. Perhaps, since it's nearly a year since I was too young, I should see if anything has changed. Perhaps a year's wait is long enough, perhaps I'll have learnt whatever they thought was missing. Perhaps people who talk to me will find out enough to see beyond the initial judgement of 'too young.' Perhaps...but enough perhapses for one post. I'm just thinking aloud!