It's that time of year again- appraisals month at work. Everyone gets given a sheet of questions to think about and answer, then you have an interview with someone more senior and discuss it and any concerns they have with you. I know I shouldn't complain too much, I think it's a healthy thing to do, but at the same time it can be difficult and awkward. I struggle to work out how to answer the questions without offending anyone, or making it sound like I'm lazy (or that I'm too keen) without actually lying. Then they try and set targets. Do you know how hard it is to set an identifiable target for a receptionist without getting really petty?
To cheer me up, here are some of the pre-appraisal questions, and what I might like to answer...
Which part of the job interests you most?
Umm...payday? The internet?
Which part interests you least?
The actual work (when there is any).
Or possibly answering these questionnaires.
How do you feel you have performed in the last year?
Well, a hundred or so blog posts, a 60,000+ word story (and some other writings), a lot of minutes and business connected with running a G&S society isn't bad for a year's work, I guess. Oh, you mean actual office activities. Umm...ok I guess.
Which areas of your job are you unclear about?
Why you continually don't give me anything else to do, even when I've asked. Surely there must be something? Or are you really happy just to pay me to sit here and twiddle my thumbs?
Do you posess skills, knowlegdge or experience acquired elsewhere of which we do not make full use?
Yes. Do you really want a list? I have a degree, for starters. I can type with more than two fingers, and know how to use email. I know how to clean a bathroom, which is more than the current cleaner does...Could I sing to entertain clients in the waiting room? Or give minature lectures on European History?
Does your job description properly describe your duties and responsibilities?
Well, yes. We only revieved it six months ago. But put together they take up less than a quarter of the time I'm at work for.
Do you feel that you could take on other responsibilities?
What's the point in asking me this? I said yes the last two times I did this form, and you haven't given me any. I'd like a chance to learn some new skills or develop the ones I have so I stand some chance of getting another job. As it is, I can't even get one on the same level as this.
Where would you like to be in one year and five years' time?
Reallistically, in a job where I earn enough not to have to worry every month about whether there will be enough to pay the household bills, and where I can do something vaugely interesting or at least useful to someone.
Ideally, not having to go to an office every day but being able to do the things I like...reading, writing, church stuff... I wonder if there's any way I can get paid for doing those things...
But at the moment, I'd settle for still having a job.
Targets for the next six months:
Finish writing Misplaced.
Apply for other jobs.
Attempt not to get depressed about lack of progress with life or with the failure to be taken seriously by people; and attempt not to get upset at being continually forgotten and not considered for things I know I can do.
Now I suppose I should get on with writing my real answers to the questions...
Friday, 9 April 2010
Sunday, 4 April 2010
Easter responses: Mary
I get cross when people say that women weren't important in the early church; the very first person to see the risen Christ was a woman (and one with probably something of a shady- in the eyes of the religious establishment- past). I've heard that under Jewish law at the time the testimony of a single woman was not valid- yet it mattered to Jesus that the first people to see him were women.
The accounts given in the four gospels differ slightly in their accounts of who was there. Matthew says it was Mary Magdalene and 'the other Mary,' probably the one Mark and Luke describe as the mother of James, (one of the twelve). Mark adds in a woman called Salome, Luke ommitts her but includes a Joanna. All agree, however, that a group of women who had been followers of Jesus went to the tomb early in the morning on that first day of the week, to check on Jesus' body and to annoint it with spices as was the custom of the day, but which they hadn't been able to do before because of the Sabbath. They were grieving, probably afraid of the authorities- the male disciples are described as basically hiding- but they were devoted enough to risk danger to do this last service for their dead leader.
Matthew tells us how the women are greeted by an angel who tells them that Jesus is not there, he has risen! "Afraid yet filled with joy" they run off to find the disciples when they are met by Jesus himself. He comforts them, accepts their worship, and gives them a new task, to give the disciples a message. Luke tells us that the disciples thought their words seemed like nonsense. Well, they would to you, if someone told you that the person who you knew had been killed was now alive. The women were excited, joyful, so different to the grief and fear of a few hours before.
John gives an account which is slightly different from the others. He shows us an encounter between Mary Magdalene alone and Jesus, where she does not at first recognise who he is because of her grief. Not until he calls her by name does she recognise him and respond, "Teacher!" Again her grief and fear give way to joy. It's a beautiful little scene, and the detail of his calling her by name reminds me of the loving care God has for each individual.
Mary is willing to accept the evidence of her experience, to believe that Jesus really has been raised from the dead. She knows that this is a special person, someone who she was devoted to in life and someone who she was willing to take risks for by going to the tomb. He had healed her in life (Mark 16 v9) and now he had done far more than that- although probably she didn't realise that yet- by dying on the cross. She responds to the resurrection in wonder, with excitement, with joy, with love, and above all with belief.
Do we ever feel these emotions when we think about the resurrection? Or are we so used to the idea that it has lost its wonder? How often do we get excited about what God has done? And how often do we respond with joy and with love and praise? I know I don't always. That's something to think about this Easter.
The accounts given in the four gospels differ slightly in their accounts of who was there. Matthew says it was Mary Magdalene and 'the other Mary,' probably the one Mark and Luke describe as the mother of James, (one of the twelve). Mark adds in a woman called Salome, Luke ommitts her but includes a Joanna. All agree, however, that a group of women who had been followers of Jesus went to the tomb early in the morning on that first day of the week, to check on Jesus' body and to annoint it with spices as was the custom of the day, but which they hadn't been able to do before because of the Sabbath. They were grieving, probably afraid of the authorities- the male disciples are described as basically hiding- but they were devoted enough to risk danger to do this last service for their dead leader.
Matthew tells us how the women are greeted by an angel who tells them that Jesus is not there, he has risen! "Afraid yet filled with joy" they run off to find the disciples when they are met by Jesus himself. He comforts them, accepts their worship, and gives them a new task, to give the disciples a message. Luke tells us that the disciples thought their words seemed like nonsense. Well, they would to you, if someone told you that the person who you knew had been killed was now alive. The women were excited, joyful, so different to the grief and fear of a few hours before.
John gives an account which is slightly different from the others. He shows us an encounter between Mary Magdalene alone and Jesus, where she does not at first recognise who he is because of her grief. Not until he calls her by name does she recognise him and respond, "Teacher!" Again her grief and fear give way to joy. It's a beautiful little scene, and the detail of his calling her by name reminds me of the loving care God has for each individual.
Mary is willing to accept the evidence of her experience, to believe that Jesus really has been raised from the dead. She knows that this is a special person, someone who she was devoted to in life and someone who she was willing to take risks for by going to the tomb. He had healed her in life (Mark 16 v9) and now he had done far more than that- although probably she didn't realise that yet- by dying on the cross. She responds to the resurrection in wonder, with excitement, with joy, with love, and above all with belief.
Do we ever feel these emotions when we think about the resurrection? Or are we so used to the idea that it has lost its wonder? How often do we get excited about what God has done? And how often do we respond with joy and with love and praise? I know I don't always. That's something to think about this Easter.
Friday, 2 April 2010
Easter responses: Peter
Peter is a disciple that many people find it easy to identify with. Certainly that's something I feel. Perhaps it's because he often doesn't get things right. One moment he's being told he is the rock on which the church will be built, the next he's being told 'get behind me, Satan!' He promises that he won't abandon Jesus, but before morning he's already denied his Lord three times. Like I said yesterday, it's all too easy to condemn the disciples without knowing how we would react to if we were in danger because of our faith. And Peter's story is one that can give us hope.
Peter's impulsiveness led him to be the first to make connections and declarations of loyalty, but it also got him into trouble. He fails Jesus on the night before his crucifixion, despite his earlier confidence in himself. He starts off well, daring to follow Jesus to the high priest's house, but once people notice him and start asking questions that could lead to his being arrested too he falls to pieces. (John 18, v15-18 and 25-27.) Matthew tells us that Peter "wept bitterly" when he realised what he'd done. I know there have been times when I've said or done something that denies Jesus' lordship of my life, and sometimes I've realised afterwards and deeply regretted it.
And yet Jesus forgives Peter and reassures him that he is still part of his plan. In John 21 we have a description of an encounter where Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves him, mirroring the three times Peter betrayed him. And each time Jesus gives him a commission to care for his 'flock,' for the church. And he hints at how Peter will serve him in the future. Peter, who had denied Jesus to save his own skin, would eventually be executed for continuing to spread the good news of Jesus Christ's death and resurrection.
This encounter follows on from yet another miracle, (as if Jesus' appearance wasn't miracle enough!) that is reminiscent of one Jesus performed when he first called Peter. Perhaps it hints at a new beginning and a reminder of that first call to become 'fishers of men;' at how far the disciples have come and yet how far they still have to go. Perhaps it hints that from now on they must rely on God to provide for them, and at the presence of the Holy Spirit who will soon come to them and strengthen them. It is because they have the Spirit helping them that the disciples are able to achieve all that is done in spreading the gospel, and through the Spirit's help that many of them, including Peter, are able to stand firm in their faith and by martyred. His self-confidence had failed him- he knew now that he needed God's help.
It's through the Holy Spirit's help that even the most timid of us (and that's me!) can dare to serve Jesus, can dare to take risks to spread his good news. Risks in giving our money to charity or the church, risks in inviting friends to come to church or in talking to them about our faith, risks in practical service. In some parts of the world Christians still risk their lives just by believing. In this country we might be risking our reputation- our friends may think we're weird religious freaks, even that we're dangerous. But after what Jesus did for us, shouldn't we try to take those risks? But the best thing is to know that when we fail, he will, like with Peter, help us get up and start again.
Peter's impulsiveness led him to be the first to make connections and declarations of loyalty, but it also got him into trouble. He fails Jesus on the night before his crucifixion, despite his earlier confidence in himself. He starts off well, daring to follow Jesus to the high priest's house, but once people notice him and start asking questions that could lead to his being arrested too he falls to pieces. (John 18, v15-18 and 25-27.) Matthew tells us that Peter "wept bitterly" when he realised what he'd done. I know there have been times when I've said or done something that denies Jesus' lordship of my life, and sometimes I've realised afterwards and deeply regretted it.
And yet Jesus forgives Peter and reassures him that he is still part of his plan. In John 21 we have a description of an encounter where Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves him, mirroring the three times Peter betrayed him. And each time Jesus gives him a commission to care for his 'flock,' for the church. And he hints at how Peter will serve him in the future. Peter, who had denied Jesus to save his own skin, would eventually be executed for continuing to spread the good news of Jesus Christ's death and resurrection.
This encounter follows on from yet another miracle, (as if Jesus' appearance wasn't miracle enough!) that is reminiscent of one Jesus performed when he first called Peter. Perhaps it hints at a new beginning and a reminder of that first call to become 'fishers of men;' at how far the disciples have come and yet how far they still have to go. Perhaps it hints that from now on they must rely on God to provide for them, and at the presence of the Holy Spirit who will soon come to them and strengthen them. It is because they have the Spirit helping them that the disciples are able to achieve all that is done in spreading the gospel, and through the Spirit's help that many of them, including Peter, are able to stand firm in their faith and by martyred. His self-confidence had failed him- he knew now that he needed God's help.
It's through the Holy Spirit's help that even the most timid of us (and that's me!) can dare to serve Jesus, can dare to take risks to spread his good news. Risks in giving our money to charity or the church, risks in inviting friends to come to church or in talking to them about our faith, risks in practical service. In some parts of the world Christians still risk their lives just by believing. In this country we might be risking our reputation- our friends may think we're weird religious freaks, even that we're dangerous. But after what Jesus did for us, shouldn't we try to take those risks? But the best thing is to know that when we fail, he will, like with Peter, help us get up and start again.
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