I wonder if it was something of a joke on Jesus's part to say that he had come so that we might have life in all its fullness. Life can certainly be very full!
I went to visit my parents a couple of weekends ago. As well as the usual sneezing fit that I embarked on as soon as I walked through the door (I'm obviously allergic to my parents!) I had to put up with the relentless questioning from family and friends that I'm sure everyone gets on returning to the place where they grew up:
"So, what are you doing now?" (Talking to you, obviously.)
"Do you like York?" (Well, if I didn't I'd be unlikely to still be there.)
"How are you getting on at uni?" (I graduated nearly two years ago. As I told you when you asked me the same set of questions at Christmas. And the Christmas before.)
Seriously, however nice it is to see family and friends there is, for me, often an undertone of "when are you going to grow up and get a proper job?" No one asks that in so many words, but you can see that's behind their questions about what I'm doing. You can tell they think you wasted your time going to uni.
And in many ways, I'd like to be the person they think I should be. I'd quite like to be settled in my own house, with a reliable, professional job, not having to worry about whether my job paid enough to live on or whether my housemates were going to get on with each other. A safe lifestyle, where you don't have to move every year. But that doesn't seem to be likely, at least anytime soon.
Nope, instead my life's more a rollercoaster than a train ride (oh dear, my trainspotting friends have got to me). At least it's not boring. But the direction I'm heading in is more likely to result in a continuation of the rollercoaster than a switch to the train. Because if I do end up doing what I believe God wants me to do, and what I think I would be happy doing, it'll mean a lifetime of "living by faith"- not too much money, probably not settled in one place for more than a few years, doing a job that's demanding and all-engrossing.
I'm willing to do that. But it's hard to explain to friends and relatives who don't understand where you're coming from, who think you're either crazy or lazy for not getting a proper full time job and doing part time low skilled shop or office jobs to make ends meet while the real business of your life- getting experience, serving the church and testing out what I want to do in the future- is unpaid.
Sometimes the future that I've chose seems hard. Sometimes people's comments (like those described above) can make it harder. I don't want my family or friends to worry about my future, but to be excited about it. Because I am. Scared, but excited.
Argh, family! When i got my caring job, after weeks of being unemployed, all most of my family could say was, "So you have a Biochemistry degree, why are you doing a job you could have been doing when you were sixteen?" (I pointed out I'd have had to be 18, but that's beside the point). You'd think that helping the elderly might win me some points, but no. I got so annoyed by this that since then, only my Grandma has ventured to ask if I might just possibly be considering anything for after my current job, and she got just got a look in reply.
ReplyDeleteI guess the idea of being fully-fledged adults but without being married with children and a "proper job" is one that still baffles people. I still get called a student, even by people I work with, who really should know better.
But I personally think we're both doing fine :) I think an essential part of growing up is realising that we don't have to do what our parents want us to do and nor to we have to rebel just for the sake of it. Once we're doing what we want to be doing and standing on our own two feet (metaphorically speaking), then, go us! we're grown-ups!