Aaaargh! Mind the pedestrian!

I've finally got round to booking driving lessons. I've been intending to do this for about 18 months, but a combination of factors (unemployment, being too busy/ lazy) have prevented me. But now it's done, avoid the streets of York on the morning of 22nd January and subsequent Thursday mornings. Incidentally, one of the benefits of not having found a full time job yet is that I will be able to start learning in the mornings, while it's still light, rather than it taking up one of my precious few free evenings.

To be honest, one of the reasons I've not started learning yet is that I'm scared. The idea, at 17, of being in control of this big, complicated lump of metal that could kill people and damage property seemed terrifying. I had no particular reason to want to learn, so I didn't. The idea still does scare me. There seems to be so much to remember, to do, to learn, let alone the tests themselves. Having not had an exam for several years now the tests alone seem quite scary! And just knowing that I'll get things wrong in lessons, and quite likely fail the test once or twice- I'm not sure if my rather low self-confidence will be able to stand it!

Then there's all the bother and expense of owning a car- tax, insurance, maintenance, security, parking costs, breakdown cover...the list goes on. Not to mention the environmental impact.

However, I now have reasons to learn. From an employment point of view, especially if, as I'd love to, I end up working for/ in the church, it widens what I can apply for and how useful I can be. From a personal point of view, I know my parents have helped me a lot, even since I left home, whenever it's been necessary to cart all my belongings from house to house or from one end of the country to the other. But both of them are getting older, and I know I can't rely on this help for much longer. Also, if either of them ever need my help, I want to be able to get to them as quickly as possible, wherever they are, and if necessary help transport them.

Environmentally, I know more cars are bad. Despite the reasons above, I do feel slightly guilty at giving in to the cultural pressure that expects every 'proper adult' to have a car. And I know that if I had a car I would probably use a it in some situations where I now walk, or use public transport, because it saves time, is safer than walking alone at night or easier than trying to transport 5 people, two tents and various bits of camping equipment by train and on foot. What I hope it wouldn't do is stop me walking most places- I enjoy walking, it's good exercise and it's environmentally friendly. I would probably still use public transport over most long distances, too.

So I'm going to learn. I'm still rather scared, but hoping that it won't be as bad as I fear! If you're a praying person, please do pray for me. And if a car with L=plates swerves madly across the road in front of you, please forgive me- I'm only learning!