Growing up

It appears I am actually, despite all appearances, (and some people's opinions) growing up.  Recently I was getting worried that I might be turning into my father, since I'd noticed some of his traits and temprament in myself.  Not a good thing.  I'm hoping some recent events were mostly a biproduct of being stressed and not an actual trend towards getting angry when things didn't go right. 

And yet now it seems I was wrong.  I actually appear to be turning into my mother.  Sometimes I sound like her, talk about the same things, laugh like her, even sometimes look like her or use her expressions.  For ages it's been a joke amongst some of my friends that I'm something of a parent (ever since I started counting people when we were in Edinburgh a few years ago...).  It probably has something to do with me almost invariably being the one who notices when the house is low on toilet roll, or a bill needs paying; and always having a tissue or safety pin.

For the last two or three years I've been going through what my friends and I call 'the marriage phase' where pretty much everyone I knew at uni or from church was getting married.  Nowadays I struggle to think of couples among my friends who've been together more than a couple of months and who aren't married or engaged.  Not that this is a bad thing at all, it's just one of those phases.

But it seems this phase is beginning to come to an end.  So far there's only four or so weddings of couples I know happening this year.  It's moving on.  The 'baby phase' is beginning.  Several couples, mostly two or three years older than me but including one where the wife is younger than me, are having or have had their first child this year.

It's interesting to observe.  It's even more interesting to see on Facebook that people from my year at secondary school have children  who are now several years old.  And yet at least one friend is still surprised by the youth of the brides/grooms/parents who are a year or two older than me.  Is there an 'average' age for these things?  My circle of friends is affected by the number of Christians (especially of the evangelical, no sex outside marriage, sort) and perhaps this distorts the numbers in favour of early marriage.  But the age of the couple leaving full time education seems to affect this too, as many of those I knew who left school at 16 or 18 are already parents compared to those who I know from university. 

Perceptions of the family, and therefore the ages of each stage have changed throughout history.  What 'family' can be said to mean now is an endless debate.  I was amused to realise that according to official surveys and suchlike, I would probably be considered the head of my 'household' as the main income earner.  Is that why I seem to be taking on the role of a parent?  I doubt it- I think it's just the curse of being well organised!

So do I mind that I'm turning into my mother?  Not really.  It seems I'm destined to 'mother' the people around me, to care about them and worry about them, to try to help and look after them.  But it could be worse!