I've finally got round to booking driving lessons. I've been intending to do this for about 18 months, but a combination of factors (unemployment, being too busy/ lazy) have prevented me. But now it's done, avoid the streets of York on the morning of 22nd January and subsequent Thursday mornings. Incidentally, one of the benefits of not having found a full time job yet is that I will be able to start learning in the mornings, while it's still light, rather than it taking up one of my precious few free evenings.
To be honest, one of the reasons I've not started learning yet is that I'm scared. The idea, at 17, of being in control of this big, complicated lump of metal that could kill people and damage property seemed terrifying. I had no particular reason to want to learn, so I didn't. The idea still does scare me. There seems to be so much to remember, to do, to learn, let alone the tests themselves. Having not had an exam for several years now the tests alone seem quite scary! And just knowing that I'll get things wrong in lessons, and quite likely fail the test once or twice- I'm not sure if my rather low self-confidence will be able to stand it!
Then there's all the bother and expense of owning a car- tax, insurance, maintenance, security, parking costs, breakdown cover...the list goes on. Not to mention the environmental impact.
However, I now have reasons to learn. From an employment point of view, especially if, as I'd love to, I end up working for/ in the church, it widens what I can apply for and how useful I can be. From a personal point of view, I know my parents have helped me a lot, even since I left home, whenever it's been necessary to cart all my belongings from house to house or from one end of the country to the other. But both of them are getting older, and I know I can't rely on this help for much longer. Also, if either of them ever need my help, I want to be able to get to them as quickly as possible, wherever they are, and if necessary help transport them.
Environmentally, I know more cars are bad. Despite the reasons above, I do feel slightly guilty at giving in to the cultural pressure that expects every 'proper adult' to have a car. And I know that if I had a car I would probably use a it in some situations where I now walk, or use public transport, because it saves time, is safer than walking alone at night or easier than trying to transport 5 people, two tents and various bits of camping equipment by train and on foot. What I hope it wouldn't do is stop me walking most places- I enjoy walking, it's good exercise and it's environmentally friendly. I would probably still use public transport over most long distances, too.
So I'm going to learn. I'm still rather scared, but hoping that it won't be as bad as I fear! If you're a praying person, please do pray for me. And if a car with L=plates swerves madly across the road in front of you, please forgive me- I'm only learning!
Wednesday, 14 January 2009
Monday, 12 January 2009
Journeys
You may have noticed (if anyone actually reads this!) the sudden spurt of posts lately. Holidays have probably contributed to this, so don't get to used to it! I've also been tweaking the site layout lately, hope you like it (if you notice!)
Anyway, it's a bit late (or early, depending on how you look at it!) to be posting about Christmas, but I wanted to say something about this poem, T.S. Eliot's "Journey of the Magi." Eliot's a poet whose work I enjoy reading, although often I'm not sure exactly what he's on about! I didn't know this when I set out to write this post, but apparently this poem was was written soon after Eliot's conversion and baptism into the Anglican church (you can read comments on it here), and scholars believe it may reflect his own journey from agnosticism to faith.
What strikes me about it is the sombre ending. You expect a poem about the three wise men to end on a high note, as they find and worship Christ, or at least on a note of rebellion as they return to their own lands a different way to avoid Herod's murderous intentions. Instead, finding Jesus, the object of their long journey, is just described as "satisfactory."
Like the carols I wrote about earlier, the birth of Jesus is inextricably linked to his death, to the point where the magus is unable to distinguish the two: "this Birth was hard and bitter agony for us, like Death, our death." The poem contains references to Jesus' crucifixion, from people playing dice for pieces of silver to "three trees on the low sky." The speaker leaves us in no doubt that the encounter with the infant Christ changed him, left him feeling uncomfortable and "no longer at ease here...with an alien people clutching their gods." The encounter makes him realise the falsity of everything else, when confronted with the truth of Jesus.
I wonder how many people today feel that disturbed by encountering Jesus, or indeed if they have the opportunity to encounter him at all in a meaningful way that allows them to be disturbed? Before, on his journey to Jesus, the magus describes "voices singing in our ears, saying that this was all folly." Travelling all those miles with no clear idea where you're going to search for a baby sounds like folly to our rational minds. Searching for Jesus can still seem irrational today, our minds can tell us it's a silly thing to do, we don't need supernatural beings these days. But this poem tells two stories, both the fictional magus's and the poet's, of encountering a very real person. The challenge for Christians and churches, not just at Christmas but all year round, is how to help and allow people to encounter this life-changing person in a way that touches them.
Anyway, it's a bit late (or early, depending on how you look at it!) to be posting about Christmas, but I wanted to say something about this poem, T.S. Eliot's "Journey of the Magi." Eliot's a poet whose work I enjoy reading, although often I'm not sure exactly what he's on about! I didn't know this when I set out to write this post, but apparently this poem was was written soon after Eliot's conversion and baptism into the Anglican church (you can read comments on it here), and scholars believe it may reflect his own journey from agnosticism to faith.
What strikes me about it is the sombre ending. You expect a poem about the three wise men to end on a high note, as they find and worship Christ, or at least on a note of rebellion as they return to their own lands a different way to avoid Herod's murderous intentions. Instead, finding Jesus, the object of their long journey, is just described as "satisfactory."
Like the carols I wrote about earlier, the birth of Jesus is inextricably linked to his death, to the point where the magus is unable to distinguish the two: "this Birth was hard and bitter agony for us, like Death, our death." The poem contains references to Jesus' crucifixion, from people playing dice for pieces of silver to "three trees on the low sky." The speaker leaves us in no doubt that the encounter with the infant Christ changed him, left him feeling uncomfortable and "no longer at ease here...with an alien people clutching their gods." The encounter makes him realise the falsity of everything else, when confronted with the truth of Jesus.
I wonder how many people today feel that disturbed by encountering Jesus, or indeed if they have the opportunity to encounter him at all in a meaningful way that allows them to be disturbed? Before, on his journey to Jesus, the magus describes "voices singing in our ears, saying that this was all folly." Travelling all those miles with no clear idea where you're going to search for a baby sounds like folly to our rational minds. Searching for Jesus can still seem irrational today, our minds can tell us it's a silly thing to do, we don't need supernatural beings these days. But this poem tells two stories, both the fictional magus's and the poet's, of encountering a very real person. The challenge for Christians and churches, not just at Christmas but all year round, is how to help and allow people to encounter this life-changing person in a way that touches them.
Friday, 9 January 2009
Weeping for Jerusalem
The Palestine/ Israeli conflict is in the headlines again. How anybody on either side can look at it and not be moved I don't know. How Israel thinks attacking targets where there's a high risk of killing or wounding civillians is going to stop Palestinian rocket attacks is also beyond me. But I don't think they do, really. A friend writes here about how the conflict serves to distract the Israeli public and politicians from internal problems. Forget the original cause, a dispute over land ownership, now it seems just an excuse to hate each other. The hate won't stop unless the land issues are sorted, in some measure, but with neither side willing to give ground (literally) it seems the violence will just go on and on. Neither side's international friends will let them be totally destroyed by the other.
Are the measures each side has taken justified? They say they are, of course. But I find Israel's treatment of the Palestinians- hemming them in with walls and checkpoints, cutting families and friends off from one another, preventing people going to work or basic humanitarian supplies from reaching Hamas-held territory pretty hard to defend, even before the latest round of violence. Of course, firing rockets that hit civillians isn't justified either. But to retaliate, as Israel has done, by targeting schools and refugee camps where they know there will be a high chance of hitting civillians...I find it hard to see how it's justifiable.
I don't know the solution. I don't even know if there is one. It would be a good start if those on both sides could stop seeing each other as "the enemy" and treat each other as human beings, it would be good if both sides realised the other does have a claim to the land as well as they do, and that a two-state solution is actually possible, it would be good if certain elements didn't try to blame everything on anti-semitism and the holocaust. Is the irrational hatred of and discrimination against Jews is any worse than the irrational hatred of and discrimination against Arabs Israelis or Palestinians?
When Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem to be crucified he stopped and looked at the city, saying "If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes. The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God's coming to you." (Luke 19 v41).
The reference is usually interpreted as referring to the destruction caused by the Romans in about 70AD, but you can sense Jesus' frustration- the Jews would not see what they were doing, how they were storing up trouble for themselves. Jesus wept over the city then. I imagine he still weeps over what the Israelis and Palestinians are doing to each other. Perhaps if only the leaders of the two groups would see, and weep too, there might be some hope of an end to all this.
Are the measures each side has taken justified? They say they are, of course. But I find Israel's treatment of the Palestinians- hemming them in with walls and checkpoints, cutting families and friends off from one another, preventing people going to work or basic humanitarian supplies from reaching Hamas-held territory pretty hard to defend, even before the latest round of violence. Of course, firing rockets that hit civillians isn't justified either. But to retaliate, as Israel has done, by targeting schools and refugee camps where they know there will be a high chance of hitting civillians...I find it hard to see how it's justifiable.
I don't know the solution. I don't even know if there is one. It would be a good start if those on both sides could stop seeing each other as "the enemy" and treat each other as human beings, it would be good if both sides realised the other does have a claim to the land as well as they do, and that a two-state solution is actually possible, it would be good if certain elements didn't try to blame everything on anti-semitism and the holocaust. Is the irrational hatred of and discrimination against Jews is any worse than the irrational hatred of and discrimination against Arabs Israelis or Palestinians?
When Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem to be crucified he stopped and looked at the city, saying "If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes. The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God's coming to you." (Luke 19 v41).
The reference is usually interpreted as referring to the destruction caused by the Romans in about 70AD, but you can sense Jesus' frustration- the Jews would not see what they were doing, how they were storing up trouble for themselves. Jesus wept over the city then. I imagine he still weeps over what the Israelis and Palestinians are doing to each other. Perhaps if only the leaders of the two groups would see, and weep too, there might be some hope of an end to all this.
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