It appears I am actually, despite all appearances, (and some people's opinions) growing up. Recently I was getting worried that I might be turning into my father, since I'd noticed some of his traits and temprament in myself. Not a good thing. I'm hoping some recent events were mostly a biproduct of being stressed and not an actual trend towards getting angry when things didn't go right.
And yet now it seems I was wrong. I actually appear to be turning into my mother. Sometimes I sound like her, talk about the same things, laugh like her, even sometimes look like her or use her expressions. For ages it's been a joke amongst some of my friends that I'm something of a parent (ever since I started counting people when we were in Edinburgh a few years ago...). It probably has something to do with me almost invariably being the one who notices when the house is low on toilet roll, or a bill needs paying; and always having a tissue or safety pin.
For the last two or three years I've been going through what my friends and I call 'the marriage phase' where pretty much everyone I knew at uni or from church was getting married. Nowadays I struggle to think of couples among my friends who've been together more than a couple of months and who aren't married or engaged. Not that this is a bad thing at all, it's just one of those phases.
But it seems this phase is beginning to come to an end. So far there's only four or so weddings of couples I know happening this year. It's moving on. The 'baby phase' is beginning. Several couples, mostly two or three years older than me but including one where the wife is younger than me, are having or have had their first child this year.
It's interesting to observe. It's even more interesting to see on Facebook that people from my year at secondary school have children who are now several years old. And yet at least one friend is still surprised by the youth of the brides/grooms/parents who are a year or two older than me. Is there an 'average' age for these things? My circle of friends is affected by the number of Christians (especially of the evangelical, no sex outside marriage, sort) and perhaps this distorts the numbers in favour of early marriage. But the age of the couple leaving full time education seems to affect this too, as many of those I knew who left school at 16 or 18 are already parents compared to those who I know from university.
Perceptions of the family, and therefore the ages of each stage have changed throughout history. What 'family' can be said to mean now is an endless debate. I was amused to realise that according to official surveys and suchlike, I would probably be considered the head of my 'household' as the main income earner. Is that why I seem to be taking on the role of a parent? I doubt it- I think it's just the curse of being well organised!
So do I mind that I'm turning into my mother? Not really. It seems I'm destined to 'mother' the people around me, to care about them and worry about them, to try to help and look after them. But it could be worse!
Wednesday, 14 April 2010
Sunday, 11 April 2010
Easter responses: Thomas
It's my blog's second birthday! So to celebrate, another post in my series on responses to Easter, this time thinking about the apostle Thomas.
Thomas is known as 'the doubter,' but is this really fair? Although on several occassions in the gospels he is recorded as being cautious and possible sceptical about whether something really can or has happened he also makes one of the braver statements that came out of the apostles: "Let us go also, that we may die with him" (John 11, v16). Jesus, against the advice and warnings of his friends that the religious establishment were out to get him, was determined to set out for Jerusalem and Bethany, knowing what was eventually in store for him and determined to obey his father's will. Thomas is the one who voices the disciples' intention to stay with their teacher through thick and thin. Perhaps it shows his trust that Jesus is the one who will save them.
Of course, it didn't happen, and the disciples were scattered, frightened and ashamed. The first news of the resurrection must have just confused them more, adding to the uncertainty they felt. What were they to do now? Were they safe? Was they journey Jesus had led them on over? Had he failed?
Then he appeared to them, and they believed. He had not failed, he had risen. Their doubts and fear were swallowed up in joy- for now. But Thomas was not there, he missed it. He remained sceptical. Understandably, really. How hard do you find it to believe that someone you have seen killed has risen from the dead? Even if your friends tell you it's true? If you are a Christian, think how hard you would find it to believe this if you weren't, and maybe you'll be a bit closer to understanding how hard some people find it to comprehend the resurrection.
"Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." We often think this reprove applies only to Thomas. Yet the other disciples also believed because they had seen. Surely it applies to them as much as to him.
But Thomas and his doubt perhaps can help us see how Jesus responds today to those who have real doubts. Perhaps those of us who already believe forget quite how hard it can be to accept the truth about Jesus for the first time. Jesus sees that Thomas wants to believe, sees what is in the way of this belief- presumably his logical thinking that no one who was dead could be walking around alive*- and reaches out to him with a personal, even physical, response.
Today a lot of people still struggle to accept that the gospel account of Jesus' death and resurrection can be true, struggle with thinking that it's not logical, that it doesn't make sense, that it is against reason. And it is, except for one thing; that this is God we're dealing with, and God doesn't obey the same natural laws as the rest of us. But often- perhaps always- the only way for people to realise this, to overcome their logical reasons, is for God to step down into our world, as he did with Thomas, and meet them. Maybe not a physical encounter like with Thomas, maybe through a sense, a feeling, an experience. Maybe through a friend, a church service, a book, or a song. Something that makes you realise God is there, and that he's real. Perhaps you won't understand how it's real, but you'll know it is.
*Even though Thomas had presumable seen Lazarus raised from the dead. The disciples seem to have had quite short memories- but then would you or I do any better in the trust stakes? I don't think I would!
Thomas is known as 'the doubter,' but is this really fair? Although on several occassions in the gospels he is recorded as being cautious and possible sceptical about whether something really can or has happened he also makes one of the braver statements that came out of the apostles: "Let us go also, that we may die with him" (John 11, v16). Jesus, against the advice and warnings of his friends that the religious establishment were out to get him, was determined to set out for Jerusalem and Bethany, knowing what was eventually in store for him and determined to obey his father's will. Thomas is the one who voices the disciples' intention to stay with their teacher through thick and thin. Perhaps it shows his trust that Jesus is the one who will save them.
Of course, it didn't happen, and the disciples were scattered, frightened and ashamed. The first news of the resurrection must have just confused them more, adding to the uncertainty they felt. What were they to do now? Were they safe? Was they journey Jesus had led them on over? Had he failed?
Then he appeared to them, and they believed. He had not failed, he had risen. Their doubts and fear were swallowed up in joy- for now. But Thomas was not there, he missed it. He remained sceptical. Understandably, really. How hard do you find it to believe that someone you have seen killed has risen from the dead? Even if your friends tell you it's true? If you are a Christian, think how hard you would find it to believe this if you weren't, and maybe you'll be a bit closer to understanding how hard some people find it to comprehend the resurrection.
"Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." We often think this reprove applies only to Thomas. Yet the other disciples also believed because they had seen. Surely it applies to them as much as to him.
But Thomas and his doubt perhaps can help us see how Jesus responds today to those who have real doubts. Perhaps those of us who already believe forget quite how hard it can be to accept the truth about Jesus for the first time. Jesus sees that Thomas wants to believe, sees what is in the way of this belief- presumably his logical thinking that no one who was dead could be walking around alive*- and reaches out to him with a personal, even physical, response.
Today a lot of people still struggle to accept that the gospel account of Jesus' death and resurrection can be true, struggle with thinking that it's not logical, that it doesn't make sense, that it is against reason. And it is, except for one thing; that this is God we're dealing with, and God doesn't obey the same natural laws as the rest of us. But often- perhaps always- the only way for people to realise this, to overcome their logical reasons, is for God to step down into our world, as he did with Thomas, and meet them. Maybe not a physical encounter like with Thomas, maybe through a sense, a feeling, an experience. Maybe through a friend, a church service, a book, or a song. Something that makes you realise God is there, and that he's real. Perhaps you won't understand how it's real, but you'll know it is.
*Even though Thomas had presumable seen Lazarus raised from the dead. The disciples seem to have had quite short memories- but then would you or I do any better in the trust stakes? I don't think I would!
Friday, 9 April 2010
Appraisal time
It's that time of year again- appraisals month at work. Everyone gets given a sheet of questions to think about and answer, then you have an interview with someone more senior and discuss it and any concerns they have with you. I know I shouldn't complain too much, I think it's a healthy thing to do, but at the same time it can be difficult and awkward. I struggle to work out how to answer the questions without offending anyone, or making it sound like I'm lazy (or that I'm too keen) without actually lying. Then they try and set targets. Do you know how hard it is to set an identifiable target for a receptionist without getting really petty?
To cheer me up, here are some of the pre-appraisal questions, and what I might like to answer...
Which part of the job interests you most?
Umm...payday? The internet?
Which part interests you least?
The actual work (when there is any).
Or possibly answering these questionnaires.
How do you feel you have performed in the last year?
Well, a hundred or so blog posts, a 60,000+ word story (and some other writings), a lot of minutes and business connected with running a G&S society isn't bad for a year's work, I guess. Oh, you mean actual office activities. Umm...ok I guess.
Which areas of your job are you unclear about?
Why you continually don't give me anything else to do, even when I've asked. Surely there must be something? Or are you really happy just to pay me to sit here and twiddle my thumbs?
Do you posess skills, knowlegdge or experience acquired elsewhere of which we do not make full use?
Yes. Do you really want a list? I have a degree, for starters. I can type with more than two fingers, and know how to use email. I know how to clean a bathroom, which is more than the current cleaner does...Could I sing to entertain clients in the waiting room? Or give minature lectures on European History?
Does your job description properly describe your duties and responsibilities?
Well, yes. We only revieved it six months ago. But put together they take up less than a quarter of the time I'm at work for.
Do you feel that you could take on other responsibilities?
What's the point in asking me this? I said yes the last two times I did this form, and you haven't given me any. I'd like a chance to learn some new skills or develop the ones I have so I stand some chance of getting another job. As it is, I can't even get one on the same level as this.
Where would you like to be in one year and five years' time?
Reallistically, in a job where I earn enough not to have to worry every month about whether there will be enough to pay the household bills, and where I can do something vaugely interesting or at least useful to someone.
Ideally, not having to go to an office every day but being able to do the things I like...reading, writing, church stuff... I wonder if there's any way I can get paid for doing those things...
But at the moment, I'd settle for still having a job.
Targets for the next six months:
Finish writing Misplaced.
Apply for other jobs.
Attempt not to get depressed about lack of progress with life or with the failure to be taken seriously by people; and attempt not to get upset at being continually forgotten and not considered for things I know I can do.
Now I suppose I should get on with writing my real answers to the questions...
To cheer me up, here are some of the pre-appraisal questions, and what I might like to answer...
Which part of the job interests you most?
Umm...payday? The internet?
Which part interests you least?
The actual work (when there is any).
Or possibly answering these questionnaires.
How do you feel you have performed in the last year?
Well, a hundred or so blog posts, a 60,000+ word story (and some other writings), a lot of minutes and business connected with running a G&S society isn't bad for a year's work, I guess. Oh, you mean actual office activities. Umm...ok I guess.
Which areas of your job are you unclear about?
Why you continually don't give me anything else to do, even when I've asked. Surely there must be something? Or are you really happy just to pay me to sit here and twiddle my thumbs?
Do you posess skills, knowlegdge or experience acquired elsewhere of which we do not make full use?
Yes. Do you really want a list? I have a degree, for starters. I can type with more than two fingers, and know how to use email. I know how to clean a bathroom, which is more than the current cleaner does...Could I sing to entertain clients in the waiting room? Or give minature lectures on European History?
Does your job description properly describe your duties and responsibilities?
Well, yes. We only revieved it six months ago. But put together they take up less than a quarter of the time I'm at work for.
Do you feel that you could take on other responsibilities?
What's the point in asking me this? I said yes the last two times I did this form, and you haven't given me any. I'd like a chance to learn some new skills or develop the ones I have so I stand some chance of getting another job. As it is, I can't even get one on the same level as this.
Where would you like to be in one year and five years' time?
Reallistically, in a job where I earn enough not to have to worry every month about whether there will be enough to pay the household bills, and where I can do something vaugely interesting or at least useful to someone.
Ideally, not having to go to an office every day but being able to do the things I like...reading, writing, church stuff... I wonder if there's any way I can get paid for doing those things...
But at the moment, I'd settle for still having a job.
Targets for the next six months:
Finish writing Misplaced.
Apply for other jobs.
Attempt not to get depressed about lack of progress with life or with the failure to be taken seriously by people; and attempt not to get upset at being continually forgotten and not considered for things I know I can do.
Now I suppose I should get on with writing my real answers to the questions...
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