Yokes part 1- general thoughts

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers."  A verse that strikes fear and dread into the heart of many Christians, and probably many youth leaders and church leaders who have to speak on it or deal with it pastorally too.  But what does it actually mean to be 'yoked together with unbelievers'?  I'm used to the common interpretation which uses it to justify Christians only marrying or going out with other Christians, but something I read recently seemed to extend it to all close friendships too.  That was something I hesitated to accept, and which got me thinking. 

I've never been entirely comfortable with a blanket ban on all Christian- non-Christian relationships anyway.  What if you become a Christian after marrying someone, or going so far with them (emotionally or physically) that it seems wrong to pull back?  What if your partner appears to loose their faith- your dumping them is hardly going to help get them back on track, is it?  It may help you, but isn't that rather selfish?

And if this is to be extended to a ban on all close relationships with non-Christians, what does that mean, for instance, for relationships with family members who you may have grown up with, but who don't share your faith?  Surely the same God who decreed 'honour your father and mother' wouldn't want us to become estranged from them by following him?  God the Father wouldn't want us to abandon our children if they decide they don't want anything to do with church.  Of course, we are to put God first (Mark 10 vs 29-30) but that doesn't absolve us of earthly responsibility. 

Perhaps there are some clues in the verses surrounding this passage that can help us understand what I think Paul meant by writing it.  Paul, in the passages surrounding it, is talking about witnessing to those outside the church.  It's clear that you can't witness effectively to people unless you know something about them, unless you meet them where they are.  But it's also clear that if you are indistinguishable from them then you can't be an effective witness either.  We are called to be salt and light, to stand out from the crowd, not to go along with what they think is important but to praise God and put him first always. 

Oxen are yoked together.  Where one goes, the other has to go too.  If we are 'yoked' to unbelievers it means that we are forced to conform to their movements, to take their priorities as our own, to do as they do.  That means we can no longer stand out from the crowd, we can't put God first.  Very often we end up putting the person (or people, or values) we're yoked to first instead.  I don't think it's just about relationships, more a call to keep God first in our hearts and our priorities.  Friendships and relationships are one of the many things that can distract us from this, just as keeping to over-restrictive rules can, if we're not careful.  I think that holds true for relationships between Christians as well as between Christians and those who don't believe.


P.S. It's also been suggested that this passage says Christians shouldn't work with or for non-Christians. Now I don't know about you but that seems rather impractical- especially in an urban society- and rather isolationist, designed to create a closed community of the 'clean' and 'holy'. It's not exactly the sort of thing one would expect to come from the same Jesus who directly went to the outcasts and unclean of his society. I may be wrong, but I don't really think that's what the passage says. If you want more info on what it might be about, see here before going off on a "Christians/ the Bible are away with the fairies" rant.