Advent 09- G&S

You've probably realised by now that I'm a fan of G&S- Gilbert and Sullivan, nineteenth century musicals or 'light opera'.  Why do I like it?  I can't say exactly, probably a mixture of catchy, singable tunes, some wonderful comic lyrics and dialogue, the colour and costume.  Partly because most of the time it's performed by amateurs, and it's obvious that the performers are enjoying themselves too, to the extent that amateur performances are often better, more innovative and energetic than professionals.

I've been involved with amateur G&S for several years now, and one of the things I've liked most in both the groups I'm involved with is the accessibility.  No one has to audition to be in the chorus.  Although most people tend to have at least some experience of singing in a choir, or of acting, there are others who join with practically none- like me.  There have been some people who are fantastic actors but not as good at singing.  And yet the overall sound still sounds and looks great.  And you do learn, even if you can't read music, you pick it up as you go along.

Being in the chorus is great fun, and it certainly helped me improve my singing over several years.  But the main thing that improved was my confidence.  When I first joined, I hadn't done any acting since primary school, and more or less my only singing was at church.  I expected I was going to be thrown out (well, politely asked to leave) within my first term!  Everyone else seemed to be so much better than me.  And when we got to acting, the first thing we did I was put at the front (being short) and told to lead everyone else on.  I was terrified!

And yet, when we got to show week, I was hardly nervous at all, and everything went well.  Suddenly I realised that I could do this, that I was as good as anyone else (and maybe better than some people).  It was perhaps the biggest confidence boost I'd ever had.

Since then my G&S career has gone up and down.  I did my first solo in a concert at the end of my first year, and was very nervous about it.  Strangely, I still get more nervous in concerts than in full shows.  This year I had my first principal role in a new company's first show, and although I wasn't at all worried on the night, during rehearsals I was tremendously anxious about whether I was good enough, and afraid that because I was really struggling with some bits I had to sing I was going to disappoint the people who gave me the part- and that I'd never get another chance.  I've been feeling exactly the same the last few weeks about a part I've got in another show with the first company I joined, worried I'm not good enough, and will make a mess of things by not being as good as the other principals.  Sometimes it really gets me down and upset, especially if I can't tell if it's right or not.

But when it goes well, it's great.  G&S has helped me develop sides of me I never knew I had- singing, speaking, performing.  It's helped me find confidence, which for someone like me who has incredibly low self-confidence and self-belief is a wonderful thing.  Even if, ironically, lack of confidence then becomes a problem that stops me singing as well as I could, I'd still rather give it a go than not.  Definitely a Good Thing as far as I'm concerned.