Advent 09- Job

At the moment I'm feeling really fed up with my job (not a new thing, as I'm sure you know!).  Everything I do seems to be the wrong thing, few people seem grateful, clients often patronise or are downright rude to me, and when something goes wrong I don't ever get a chance to explain my side of the problem.  I can't book holidays when I want next year because another colleague has already taken the dates.  Being in a room downstairs on my own I'm rather outside the office culture, and don't know my colleagues that well, to the extent that I'm half-dreading the Christmas party.  And I seem to be achieving nothing but to demonstrate to my colleagues how incompetent I am.

So you wouldn't think it's the best time to be giving thanks for my job.  Well, it's not easy, but I'm going to try.  I am very grateful I have a job at all.  Since graduating three and a half years ago I have had three jobs and also spent over a year unemployed (although I was doing voluntary work part of the time).  The first two jobs were in shops, and while the first one was all right, as I got on very well with the other staff, the second was a disaster.  I was taken advantage of, underpaid, and agreements about working hours were not kept.  After a month, I left, and was unemployed for a some time before getting my current (part time) job through someone I knew at church.

Unemployment can get you down, make you feel utterly depressed, make it seem to you as if you are no good for anything, that you are an incompetent, incapable, unemployable, talentless, unwanted, time-wasting, burdensome idiot.  The job hunting and benefits processes don't help- you are treated as if you are a problem to be solved, not an individual with needs and feelings; a statistic in a system where the sole concern is saving money, not helping people.

Part of my frustration is that I know I have skills and talents I want to use, but can't in this job.  I know I could be doing so much more, and that the longer I stay in this dead end job the less likely I am to ever get anything better.  But I am glad to have any paid work at all.  Many of my friends have struggled to find any work, going months and even years without a job.  York is a hard place to find work, and in the current financial circumstances it's even worse.

So much as I moan about my job, I am thankful for it.  I don't dislike the people I work with, and at least I have regular hours and can sit down.*  Having a reliable income means I can plan, be sure of paying my rent and bills, and even help others in a small way when things are desperate.  Having a job, even if a boring, thankless and (owing to its part time nature) not well paid one, has been a real answer to many anxious prayers.  I'd like to get a better one, of course, but for now I'm just thankful to have one at all.

*This may not sound like much, but when you've worked for 6 months in a shop where you have to stand up all day, it really is!